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This may be a little disjointed but that's the way my life has been for almost three years. The first six or seven weeks I was completely
dissociated most of the time. I remember a couple of times when I became relatively lucid, only to be drugged again.
The first time I awoke in an ambulance. I remember clearly the interior of the ambulance, it being backed into the unloading bay
at the hospital, and being rolled on a gurney through the halls. Then everything went black for days or weeks, I have no way of
knowing. I believe it was the occasion when I dislodged the feeding tube, as I was sent back to Hospital B to have it put back
in.
The other time I became aware of the real world to find that I had a visitor. She is a friend from work, and likes cars.
An auto auction, Barrett-Jackson or something similar was on. We watched for a couple of hours and after she left it was back to the drug world.
I have a high tolerance for drugs of all kinds, and after a few uses of any medication more frequent use or larger doses are required
for even minimal effect. I shudder to think how much of the poison they were putting into me to keep me out. And
all psychotropic drugs cause permanent damage if used for any length of time, to say nothing of the application of excessive amounts.
I am aware of two people who were subjected to this treatment for years, and both ended badly. The first was a friend of my age, who was
always a little odd but not regarded as mentally ill. Unfortunately he indulged in various recreational drugs which caused erratic
behavior, to the point of physical altercations. Finally he was arrested and turned over to the psychologist. A psychologist working
in a town of seven thousand or so. Yeah, real competence there. My friend was sent to a mental hospital and over the next
twelve years deteriorated and he died before his thirtieth birthday. I suspect he did have some issues, as they're called, but the
more they tried to fix him the more damage they caused.
The other case was also a personal friend, not a close one but one I knew fairly well. A beautiful young lady with wealthy parents
but was a kind and gentle person who treated all people equally regardless of their station in life. She was intelligent and
charming and liked by everyone who knew her. Until her behavior became erratic and sometimes offensive, and to the doctor she went.
The last time I saw her she had been hospitalized again, and her prescriptions adjusted yet again. She showed me a pill case and told me how
many times a day she took each of the almost dozen pills. I lost contact with her for several years and it was only a couple of years
after she died that I learned of it, and how. Eventually she just couldn't take it any more.
I do not doubt that some people, many people, can have their mental problems mitigated by the use of chemicals. At least I hope so.
I have heard some accounts of such cases from people I trust, so perhaps there is some merit to it. But the irresponsible and incompetent
doctors cause a great deal of harm. Recently there was news of a young woman, a nurse, happily married with three children, who one day
murdered her children and attempted to kill herself.
She was of course arrested and charged with murder, but when her lawyer described the cocktail of drugs she had been taking, prescribed by a
doctor, it was similar to what was being used on me. I know what they do to you, and have little doubt that her doctor is the one who
should be arrested. She worked for the Medical Industry and trusted it and it has destroyed her life.
Individual acts of violence by people under the influence of these drugs are not as widely publicized as mass shootings, particulaly the ones by
young people at schools. These are in the national news, but despite the attention the connection to psychotropic drugs being known the industry
not only denies it but publishes volumes of disinformation in an attempt to conceal it, and because the subjects are usually permanently mentally
crippled for life they are rarely if ever heard from again. In any case they are either in prison or a mental institution and so have no credibility.
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